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How losing control led me to co-creating magic

Sep 27, 2023

It´s been a long few months preparing for our “My Alpha & Omega Journey'' Retreat that we are currently hosting this week. I´ve automated this blog so that we could still be in touch this week because I really wanted to share this story with you. 

One of my biggest challenges I personally need to work on is “control”. Not because of a safety reason, but more for a perfection reason. This came up in my own clearing session I had last week. 

I was in full on victim mode, in my head of course, because I felt like I was giving much more and that others involved in the project were not as committed as I was. Totally my story and one that I´ve been telling myself for some time. In my clearing session we traced this victim back to a memory of me as a youngster and being left at school. 

My parents were always working and so I was often waiting around until they could come pick me up. I didn't have a mobile phone at that stage so it wasn´t like I knew when someone was going to arrive. I just had to wait. This left me feeling unseen, abandoned and not good enough. And so as that little girl I made a decision that I would always be self sufficient and do things really well so that I could avoid being unseen. 

What that translates to in my current life is me being super efficient and I often land up doing a ton of things on a project because I have the capability to do so. I also do my best to do everything really well, which is not always required. This is why I like to control things, because that little girl inside believed that when she was self-sufficient and did things perfectly, she would then be seen. But a short time later the always resent kicks in and I find myself complaining, being in full victim mode. 

It was so funny because straight after my session I went to the retreat venue to set up our Contemplation Stations. These were pieces of wood that I had laser engraved with mindful phrases that our guests could sit and read, and contemplate what those phrases meant to them. One way to help raise vibration. 

As I got to the venue I was ready to hang the wooden signs up around the farm but I found that my host, who I was collaborating on the project with, was late. I needed him to tell me where I could hang the signs but he was busy making lunch. 

I felt myself drop back into victim, feeling unseen again because he was not ready for me. I could feel my annoyance building back up and my urge to regain control again. Then the insights of my earlier session came flooding back to me and Spirit came through. 

“It´s time to let go Mish and trust”. There´s that bloody word again from Spirit! Trust! But I felt my heart soften as I made the decision to let go and see where this afternoon would take me. That mean letting go of controlling what time I had allocated for this meeting, even though I had a ton of things to get done before the retreat. Like write this blog!!

And as I let go… the magic happened. My host invited me to share a meal with him and the rest of the community and to then join them in co-creating the new altar in the Amphitheatre. Now if you´ve ever been part of building an altar you´ll know that having your energy being part of it is quite a thing. Not only that, our retreat group was going to be the first group to use the space and I now got to be part of co-creating it from the ground up. What an honour!

Anyways….my 30 minute meeting turned into a 2 hour lunch and getting my hands in the soil with the rest of the Community. It also led me to having the opportunity to include my prayers and wishes to the land and altar, which I found such a special practice to be part of. 

As I drove home and started getting back to the to-do list, I was left with a huge smile on my face knowing that when I let go, the magic was served. 

If you are still thinking about joining our Double Detox programme I encourage you to stop thinking about it and let go. Join! People have had EPIC results and the time period between the two eclipses that we are doing it in will give you a massive clearing. Our Super Early Bird offer expires on the 30th of September so get involved before you miss out. 

See you on the other side. 

Sending good vibes, 

Mish x

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